We're Going To Need a Bigger Television

July 2, 1928 – Regularly scheduled television service begins in the United States.

September 26, 1960 – John F. Kennedy and Richard M. Nixon face off in an historic televised debate that altered the spotlight of presidential campaigns ever since.

February 15, 1993 – Carlton Banks tries speed for the first time and “dances” (spasms) his way to the hospital.

July 24, 2013 – The Chicago City Council approves upgrades to Wrigley Field, that includes a Jumbotron.

The history of television seems to have come full circle with the invasion of massive moving images being displayed at the nation’s second oldest ballpark.  Wrigley Field is currently the only Major League stadium without a flat screen monstrosity within its confines.  Generations of depressed Cubs  fans have ventured into the sacred grounds to watch the manual scoreboard hang a multitude of losses.

Jumbotron impostors like this are a real issue.

LCD displays of runs, errors, and thrilling between-inning games like a Dunkin Donuts sponsored “which hat is the ball hidden under” have been missing from the friendly confines amidst years of outrage from Cubs fans.  Protestors in the outfield have been picketing on their bleacher seats for decades with chants of …

“What do we want?”

            “Miller Lite Sponsored Kiss Cams!”

“When do we want it?”

            “Preferably before we put together a winning team!”

These protestors, referred to as “bleacher bums,” often found other ways to disrupt ballgames to get their point across.  Whether it was tossing hand-written pro-Jumbotron manifestos written on baseballs onto the field, or interrupting games with their impressive drinking records and shirtless dancing, they stopped at nothing to let management know the plight of a television-deprived sporting audience.  

"A revolution without dancing is not a revolution worth having."

Fans had been confined to the passing down of entertainment by spending the game-time with hot dogs, Bartmans, errors, Rod Beckmans, watching the ivy grow, Old Style, and talk of curses, but finally we are free at last - to watch in-game ads offering free Taco Bell Cinnastix to anyone seated in row 267.