Congress Members Begin Purchasing Their Souvenir Photographs and “I Survived the Fiscal Cliff” T-shirts

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A reenactment of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (Dem.) mid-Fiscal Cliff.

 In a rare moment of slight and nearsighted activity, Congress lined up to buy their commemorative action photographs and t-shirts to memorialize the near nation-wide plunge at the fiscal cliff.   Majority Leader Eric Cantor (Rep.) told Capitol Building souvenir cashier Miranda Wilson, “It was a hell of a ride.  Lots of twists and turns, I never thought it was going to end.”  To which Steny Hoyer (Dem.) countered, “I was worried that I might not be big enough for the cliff this year, but once Nancy [Pelosi] told me I could vote, I was so excited I nearly jumped for joy.”  Multiple representatives from both sides of the aisle admitted to not understanding the term and voted on the nation’s pressing financial issue simply based on its intimidating moniker.  “A photo opportunity a couple years back in line for Splash Mountain was enough excitement for me in this lifetime,” said Senator Marco Rubio.  He continued, “I can’t wait to try and avoid the cliff again in a couple months.”  The nation's commemorative “I Survived the Fiscal Cliff with my $300 haircut intact” T-shirts and action photographs of your favorite representative mid-fiscal cliff are available for sale wherever inefficiency is celebrated.

Cliff avoidance and actual work can be pretty scary stuff.